Installment 4 May 26th Larapinta - Karlgoorlie

Right folks, the latest instalment.

If memory serves me correctly the last email we were down town Alice about to set off on the Larapinta trail.
So...We got up at some silly o'clock to get picked up to be dropped some 70km west of Alice Springs. The bus company rolled up in a brand new Landcruiser, and we were told that we'd be picking up 2 more people and it was a tour, with us being dropped off halfway through the tour, and weren't we lucky to get a free tour. Within 15 minutes in the car, (7.15am) the woman (presumably in her late 40's) had admitted that she had run away to Alice springs to escape a marriage that went haywire. Joy, this was the equivalent of my hunt in Los Angeles for a barperson to tell me that they were actually an actor and this was the day job. Anyway. 3 stops later and an awful lot of confused geological information and we were dropped at Standley Chasm, named after the English teacher that first tutored the local aboriginal children. Though no-one could tell me if Chasm was her first name or surname.

After coffee and pies we set off and spent the night in the middle of rocky valley. There was no water on this leg of the hike so we were lugging an extra 8 litres on top of the pitted prunes.































































The next day we rose to the highest point - about 1100 metres and the climb actually got a bit technical which was exiting. We dropped down again and then slugged it out with the flies for 18km.
We spent the evening boiling water from a tank at the campsite, because you always forget something, and this time it was the water purification tablets.
































The next day was another slog in the desert, and another camp in the middle of nowhere.


The last day bought us in to Alice Springs by the Telegraph station, a museum explaining how Alice came to be. So we joined the tourists and I smiled enigmatically as if the flies around my bum weren't really there and the really bad smell was someone else.

No dingoes or carpet pythons observed, dammit.

We thought we'd hole up in Alice and do our washing, internet, Royal Flying Doctors museum etc for 2 nights and went out that night for a few beers and a feed at the working mans club, I had a 500gm steak and Siobhan had Reef and Beef (prawns on top of a steak) but neither of us could manage the steak ice - cream.

The next day we managed some of the tasks, clearly not the internet bit, and the Mundine Vs Green fight was on so we thought we'd have a couple of beers and get up early and head off to the parks. So 12 hours later we were chucked out of the local backpackers party bar as it shut, both drunk enough to believe we were the best dancers in town. Needless to say I crawled into reception and booked us another night to recover, but as you know, Leo Sayer can make an appearance in these cases, and another day got lost in time.
Anthony Mundine (Choco - his nickname due to his aboriginal heritage as I was informed on asking) won on points if anyone is interested.

So eventually we left Alice on a day which eludes me, via KFC and bought a pile of world cup literature, and headed to the Ormiston Pound. Nice campsite, but we were unfortunately hemmed between 2 caravans one had "Don't panic God’s in charge" and the other "Jesus is cool" and suffered the witticisms of the complete twunt that found it funny to tell the nice German family that if they didn't clean the BBQ someone would smash their windows.
How Christian of him.
However the rock wallabies that hung out on the local, um rocks, they, well, rocked. Probably my favourite Aussie animal to date.















Next up was Palm valley and some superb 4x4 action in an old river bed. We got swamped by the tour buses a bit here, please don't anyone be tempted to go on the Remote Outback Cycling Tour, the 5am singing as they joyfully left the campsite on a Sunday morning is not endearing. Dingo spotted in the campsite, and heard in the night, though they do sound like a parody of themselves, and we are convinced a dingo impersonator is doing the rounds.

























And now the Bitchimin begins. 600Km to Marla, then 300km to Coober Pedy. The town were mad max is filmed. We found ourselves an underground
campsite as you do and pitched the tent. We then went to look at the golf course, a grassless exact replica of St Andrews, where you take a piece of synthetic turf around with you, and the greens need to be raked before shots. They also play at night with lit up golf balls. Next was the house of Crocodile Harry, and 83 year old bloke that has plastered his underground dwelling with nikkers of women and photos of them with their boobs out. For 2 dollars, you invited to sniff/look at the exhibits. We then went to the underground church, underground Bookshop, etc etc etc.


















































Next day we cut the corner off and followed a 4x4 track for about 300km, seeing just one other car, this was remote country.
We then headed out into across the Nullabor. 200km later in the dark we attempted to find a national park by the sea, after much toing and froing we found followed a track till we saw a camping sign and a clearing. We stuck the tent up a bit unclear on what we were surrounded by, but we could hear the sea. We woke up for sunrise to find we were in the middle of enormous sand dunes right by the sea, quite stunning.



















Next up 600km to a non descript spot, stopping to see whales at Head of Bight, and the next day 720 km to Kalgoorlie.

Being the tourists we are we like to immerse ourselves in the local culture. So we watched the Australia Greece soccer friendly in the pub, and then went into a skimpy bar.
Siobhan then enjoyed watching me squirm as I had to buy round after round from girls with only silver stickers the size of a 50p piece to cover their boobs.
All this whilst surrounded by young men in their hard Yakka mining work gear. So here we are, what next, who knows, the world cup is 2 weeks away and we need a location and a TV (as if we don't have enough shit with us as it is)Till next time, over and out. Outback Mike and Remote Area Siobhan.

Installment 3 May 12th - Melbourne to Alice Springs

This is Mike and Siobhan reporting via the bush telegram, a sporadic melee of events.
We have just come back into radio contact since last Friday, and we've been up to a couple of things meanwhile.

We left Melbourne after just too much piss was being drunk, saw Richmond beat Carlton at the new and improved MCG.
Then to Lorne, then Mount Gambier where we stayed in a converted Jail, it was far from high security as prisoners often jumped the wall, went to the pub and broke back in unnoticed. All the same Siobhan had trouble finding the showers in the morning.

















Up to Adelaide, and we spent a couple of nights doing all the admin rubbish that can bog you down.
We went to a camp shop in search of tent poles, but were undecided and chose to return the next day. The hostel was shoddy, and full of young krauts - seems to be a South Australian thing. We managed to get ourselves hooked on big brother though in the interval. The next day we returned to the camp shop but annoyingly someone had blown up the shop next door and so access was restricted. http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200605/s1628712.htm

















Got a new top toy from Siobhan for my birthday: http://www.garmin.com/products/etrexVistacx/First person in Australia to own one, please pass this on to Dexter. Whilst in the shop Siobhan revealed her true colours as a road hog, and we left the electronics shop with a CB radio and roof mounted (There can only be one type don't you know) antenna.
We are now ready for the bush, and Siobhan answers to Tim Tam 99, and I am Eric the Camel, due to the hump I had in Adelaide. (Its not all plain sailing when you're on holiday 24/7 you know.)

















Soooo, next up we went to Mount Remarkable ranges and stayed in the best free campsite ever, free hot showers and the like.
We then went into the ranges overnight which was a mixture of gorge walks and flocks of Emus. On approaching one it reared up and then jumped and waggled its arms at me before running off (the emu, not me) Bit of a Rod Hull moment.





































Of course the real reason was to test the GPS. Next up the Flinders ranges - Wilpena Pound - before which we launched our volley of texty messages for Martin and Louise who where getting married back home.

The free campsites were 4x4 access, so we finally engaged the 2 extra wheels in earnest. Though of course we did pass a couple of Commadore hire cars.
This was the night of the wedding, so we recorded a message, and I will sometime this century put it on a DVD for them.

We hiked into the pound for another overnight camp and when we woke up there was ice on the tent. Still wondering where the hot Australia was.




Next up the Oodnadatta track, a 4x4 track about 750km in length that would take us up near Alice.
We got to Marree (you know, Mari how your name is phonetically spelt), basically the start of the track and spent a good feral evening drinking beer and poking a communal fire. The grey haired nomads are out in force. We are definitely out of backpacker territory, this is something else.
The bloke running the campsite also ran both the petrol stations and appeared to be the local king pin, he liked playing Dolly Parton, oh and we met a nice German chap that was cycling, and an ex bare knuckle fighter from Broken Hill bulldozer driver.
Good night of Yarnin round the fire. Next we let the air out of our tyres and headed up the track.
Very good condition actually, and every hour or so you would pass (and wave at) someone in the other direction.













































We decided to head to Lake Eyre North, a side track, and this was a bit more full on.
About an hour on sand, very very very remote.
Passing the grave of the German tourist that died after leaving her boyfriend and the car (fatal mistake) and walking to get help - you probably remember from 6 years ago.
Camped on the lake and I won't bore you with the details of the silence and the stunning sunrise / sunset.
Another couple rocked up in full on battle bus, including aircon and oven, we liked their style.































And on - we left the main highway and headed up towards Mt Dare, much more remote than previous and in the 4 hours of driving we only saw a microlite which was being used to round up cattle.

Finally rocked up to a campsite come bar which was on the edge of the Simpson desert. By now everything is full of red dust, but this was the end point for the full on 4x4 adventurers and we looked clean compared to this lot.
















Off again in the morning, lots more sand, lots less people.
We passed the geographical centre of AUstralia and after about 5 ours popped out on the Stuart Highway.

































Back to bitumen. Still the beer is cheaper and we have got the car ship shape again. Considered clean pants, but decided against this path.

So, signing out now, we're off to do some hiking in the Larapinta, so probably out of contact for a week.

Installment 2 April 8th - Tassie South Coast Track

It's a real struggle sitting in an email café, it seemed so much easier when I was getting paid for it. Strangely I think you're more likely to receive postcards from me, I have sent one. And another that I spent a while writing got left in my gortex jacket and is now a big pile of paper mache, so sorry for that.
Since I last emailed you we have indeed been on the South coast track, basically:

Day 1
Fly into Mellacuca by single prop plane with one other person, dropped off on a gravel airstrip, with a population of 2. Walked for about 4 hours in fair weather to a beach. Got photos taken by Dutch photographer for some magazine or other.















Day2
Set of from Beach in fair weather, said good by to Dutch guy, this is the last person we saw for a while.
Mud.
300 metre climb
4 River crossings.




Day3
Ironbounds
Rain turns to sleet and gale force winds as we struggle over the 900 metre range, 4 hours of decent in roots and mud, when the path just disappeared into a raging waterfall. Waited an hour and now sign of it being less than a Niagra falls. Eventually found a tree across the river, and crawled across this. (Near death experience number 1)
After 8 hours in total collapsed into camp.















Day4
Mud, Rain, Mud, Rain, Beach, Gale force winds, need to row across an estuary about 250 metres wide. With the wind behind us we made the first crossing in about 4 minutes, got the second boat and headed back.
Heading back takes about 20 minutes, trying not to panic I was virtually in tears of pain as we struggled across.
And 4 minutes back again, probably the most relieved I've felt in several years. Collapsed in heap while Siobhan bought me back to life.
















Day5
Shortest day of 4 hours, only issue was a cliff climb at one end of the beach, with the sea smashing against it.
Made it, set up tent, ate, and then out of nowhere 3 people appeared in the other direction making us jump out of our skins, first contact with people.





























Day6
Mud Mud and mud. Got lost once, then after 2 hours presented with 4 of the toughest hours of hiking ever. Siobhan stepped off a route and went up to her waist in mud at one point. We got to river at the end of a long day that met the sea. So I waded into it to cross the mere 5 meters. By the time it was up to my waist and getting deeper, with waves coming across making it very dangerous, we decided to wait and see what happened.
It got dark so we camped on the track, not much sleep with worrying about getting across the creek the next day.















Day7
It turns out that the tides were all messed up by the cyclones in the North of Austrlia, so the next day, although it should have been low tide it was only a about half a meter lower. Luckily this was enough and I stepped across first with the water only crotch high. Very jubilant. However, when I stepped back to show Siobhan the route I couldn't find it, and must have been on a ledge. We fiddled around and eventually got across.
Much relief, I can tell you.
This took us back to civilization, well Cockle creek, nearest shop 75 Km away, and no bus for 24 hours. This meant we had to continue on pasta rations, whilst people pickniced around us (in driving rain you understand)















Day8
Hobart, 2 days of celebrating birthday.
















Anyway since then we've more or less fiddled around national parks and done a lot of day walks. We ventured into another park for a couple of nights, but its quite cold and theres an awfull lot of snow on the ground.





















Casade Brewery - Hobart, with Browny bear
















Snow man curtousy of Katy Hebourne - in the Labrynth (Lake St Clare)




















Swamp Gum Tree in the Styx





















The Tarn Shelf - mount Field national park















The Labrynth - Lake St Clare

















The Labrynth - Lake St Clare

Installment 1 March 28th Melbourne - Hobart

Hello from Hobart, Tasmania,
Just an email to the 2 addresses - I'll write individually as well
After a fairly stress full couple of weeks we have finally got away. 5 Years of our life here is either boxed, charitied, burnt or (mostly) given away to friends with varying degrees of enthusiasm on their parts. (The deal was for every good item, you must remove at least one piece of junk). Anyway we got there in the end and even manged to spend 2 sessions at the atheletics, one weight lifting and one rugby 7's.
We spent a couple of days at Dans getting the final bits ready and then hopped on a ferry to Tasmania. Since then we have been winding down, and spent a couple of nights in the bush, one up a mountain - the Walls of Jeurusalem, quite religious in an eastery way really. Quite fun as 2 hours of the hike on the second day were finding our way accross an enourmous plain with no actuall path, just a stream a couple of KM's the left and a mountain looming 4Km on the right. Needless to say that after setting off from the mountain campsite at about 9am we didn't see another soul till we completed the circuit and got off the mountain at about 3, which was quite something considering the distances we could see at any one time.






























Back to reality and a YHA hostel in the middle of nowhere, where we were "Alex's" only customers. In a land of men with shaved heads and long biker goatee beards Alex complied with just a beard. It wasn't until the next day that I realised that his opening line of "Do you have a reservation?" was only his way of being drol. The hostel was really just an extension of his house, and we felt we were invading. When his elderly Scottish parents appeared the next day and his mum started bossing him around we felt is was time to leave. It was clearly a family moto never to throw anything away, and I just wish I had the courage to ask after the following items that littered the communal kitchen / living room.
4 x Vacuum cleaners of various vintage (There was no sign of any hoovering having been done in quite a while, so presumably they didn't work.)
5 x Teapots, well actually 3 teapots without matching lids and 2 lids without matching teapots.
1 x Caffatiere, no matching plunger or lid.
1 x Plunger, no matching caffatiere.
The list goes on, and my real concern is that the old bath toys littered amongst the broken mops and brooms, by the outside bathroom, don't actually belong to visiting children, but instead 30 years ago may have belonged to Alex himself.
Any way, we are now in Hobart, and catch a very small aeroplane out to the middle of absolute nowhere tomorrow morning, then it's pasta rations for 7 days as we hike out. The weather looks good at the mo', but this is Tasmania the Island where in the last 50 years it has snowed on every single day of the year.
We'll be out of radio contact, but we are owners now of a satellite distress beacon, so international rescue are never too far away.
Meanwhile, I am sat in a hostel avoiding eye contact with friendly vegans and other travelling types that currently I have little in common with, what with us being tourists. Presumably that will change, as my beard and hair continue to grow.
Over and out.